We've got FaceBook, MySpace, Blogger, texting, and a whole slew of ways to communicate with others. I've chatted with old friends online that I haven't spoken to in 15 years. I regularly visit blogs of friends who have moved away and live quite distant from me and even with those that live right around the corner.
As I've seen or spoken to these friends days after we've chatted online, those online conversations have no bearing on the improvement of our friendship. In fact, we have never spoken of online conversations after the fact. It's as if they never happened. I sat there and chatted with a neighbor about some problems they were having for close to an hour one time. It was a deep conversation. But the next time I saw that neighbor nothing was mentioned of our conversation and I had almost forgotten it had taken place (even most of the details).
Is it just me? Do your digital conversations have any improving qualities on the friendships of the people you are speaking to? Do they bring you closer as friends or family?
Not I, said me. Not I.
Phone calls and actual time spent in the presence of the other person are quite another story. This is my opinion, in order of importance:
1. One-on-one time in the presence of the other person.
2. Group time in the presence of the other person.
3. Phone call.
4. Letter (who does THAT any more?).
4. Email.
5. Online chat.
NOTHING can replace good ol' one-on-one time with someone you love. It means your full attention is focused upon them and that they are the most important thing right now. The further we move down on the spectrum of meaningful contact, the less it means to us and those we communicate with.
Me, Myself and I
- Mateo
- I am a Mormon...married to Lisa. We have 5 awesome children. I am a gun rights advocate and believe the 'right to keep and bear arms' refers to an INDIVIDUAL right, as affirmed by the U.S. Supreme Court. I like to hunt big game, although I have only ever killed a single buck deer. I am an actor of sorts and have been in many local plays and musicals.
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5 comments:
Lots of good food for thought, Lanceyboy. Last week we were talking about the meaning of church attendance in SS, and I think that builds the type of relationships that you are speaking of. There is something about seeing a person each and every week that builds a fondness, respect and lasting relationship too.
I don't know, I guess my experiences have been a little different. I'm not one to call someone on the phone just to chat, but through my 'online conversations' with people, like Facebook and reading blogs, I've learned a lot about my friends and family that I wouldn't otherwise have known - small things like who's having a hard time with something or a rough day, or could use a little act of service or some encouraging words. Most people won't call someone up and ask for help for little things like that, you know?
And reading my friends' blogs or having little online conversations with them has given me a better understanding of who they are and the things we have in common. I've developed several friendships with women I've gotten to know better after they've talked to me about my blog or theirs and we've discovered common experiences and interests.
That said, it annoys the crud out of me to have someone sitting there with me constantly checking their phone for updates, basically missing out on what's going on right in front of them because they need to know what's going on with everyone else! ;)
Most conversations I've had online were of no consequence. Now and then I find that one of my friends is more comfortable having that distance in order to properly speak her mind. By an large though, it's like Strong Bad once said: The internet is a place where absolutely nothing happens. Remind me next time we meet at Grandma's to compliment your thoughts in person!
Did you catch Elder Bednar's CES Fireside this month? If not, watch, listen to, or read it on lds.org. I quote:
"To feel the warmth of a tender hug from an eternal companion or to see the sincerity in the eyes of another person as
testimony is shared—all of these things experienced as they really are through the instrument of our physical body—could be
sacrificed for a high fidelity fantasy that has no lasting value. If you and I are not vigilant, we can become “past feeling”
(1 Nephi 17:45), as did Laman and Lemuel long ago."
This topic would make good for a good science fair project.I think there is some value in digital relationships,but never significant and to replace real efforts for real relationships.
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