Here are a few Ralphie quotes to make you laugh, I hope:
"Dear Miss Hoover, You have Lyme Disease. We miss you. Kevin's biting me. Come back soon. Here's a drawing of a spirochete. Love, Ralph."
"Was President Lincoln okay?"
"I eated the purple berries. Ooowww...Uh.....oohhhhhh."
"How are they, Ralph? Good?"
"They taste like....burning!"
"My cat's breath smells like cat food."
"And when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more that was the happiest day of my life."
"Thank you, Ralph. Very graphic."
"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"
"Daddy, how come you're not at work?"
"I don't know. How come you're not at school?"
"My teacher says she's tired of trying."
Lisa: "I'm Annie Oakley!"
Nelson: "I'm Kevin Costner in one of his western roles."
Ralph: "I'm a gulch!"
"Mr. Army Man, I can't sleep without my Reggie Rabbit."
"Is that some sort of plush novelty?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Well, here's a scouring pad. It's just as good."
"It's cold and hurty!"
"I'm learnding!"
"Here's your scientifically selected career."
"Salmon gutter?!?!"
"Miss Hoover!"
"Yes, Ralph."
"I don't have a red crayon."
"Why not?"
"I ate it."
"Um...Miss Hoover?"
"Yes, Ralph, what is it?"
"My worm went in my mouth and then I ate it. Can I have a new one?"
"When I grow up I wanna be a principle or a caterpillar."
"Wah, ah, ah!"
"Sorry Ralphie, the bake off rejected your recipe."
"I wanna be in the bake off!"
"There, there, I think your grilled crayon sandwich is delicious!"
"You only had a pretend bite."
"No, I'm eating it, look!" [chomp, chomp, chew]
"Can you taste the thumbtacks?"
"Ah, crap."
GO SIMPSON'S!!!
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