Your Mama and Other Jokes

One time at work, I made a technical change to something and one of my co-workers asked "Who said you could do that?"

My reply: "Your mom."

He was shocked, to say the least, but I said it with a smile, both of us knowing it was a joke. It was also my way of saying "I know what I'm doing, so kiss my tuchus." (Tuchus is Yiddish for "butt".)

Lest we digress...

Another time, a different co-worker asked a similar question and I replied in like manner by referencing something about his mama. Even though I said it with a smile, it was made known clearly to me that I should not ever again make a "mama" joke around that individual. He was not happy.

Recently, I went on a "Your Mama" joke spree at work. Here are a few choice ones:

Your mama is so fat, I swerved to miss her and ran out of gas.
Your mama is so fat, every restaurant in town says "250 Patrons or YOUR MAMA."
Your mama is so fat, she puts her belt on with a boomerang.

Anyhoo...feel free to share some of your favorites.

And now for some more random thoughts....

1. This is the strangest winter I have experienced in Utah.
2. I like snow because it's cold and covers all the BROWN.
3. I did not get an elk on the hunt last fall, but an acquaintance gave me a deer.
4. I processed that deer and have about 30 pounds of venison in the freezer.
5. I am hoping to go elk hunting in Wyoming this fall.
6. With my friend Jeff.
7. I like my job a lot.
8. It can be scary at times, but it's really cool.
9. Kind of like being an F-16 pilot.
10. But not really.
11. I am going to take more training this year.
12. I'd like to be a certified BCFD.
13. Guess.
14. I was very disappointed in the end of the Ute's season this year, but they won their bowl, so that's a plus.
15. I made a huge snowman last week that used half the snow in my yard.
16. With the next snowfall, I am going to make a snowball large enough that it will THROUGH July.
17. I am thinking of going home early today.
18. My new job is more of a "thinking" job. A fair amount of planning and architecture work.
19. My kids are doing great.
20. We all got sick AFTER Christmas.
21. Blessings.
22. I have spent 2 Christmas Days in Instacares with children before.
23. This was a great year.
24. I made reachable resolutions.
25. This blog post has taken a long time to produce.
26. I think my wife and I are scheduled to have dinner with friends tonight.
27. Excited to get out.
28. Love my woman.
29. She hot.
30. I was recently honored for my "Innovative Designs" at work.
31. I am now the proud owner of a Droid.
32. SO totally cool.
33. I am making Cafe Rio Black Beans for Sunday dinner.
34. MMMMMMM
35. I love Mexican food.
36. Who am I kidding...I love ALL food.
37. Except fish jell-o.
38. I need to go brush my teeth.
40. Blech.
41. Marshall can't hear me.
42. He needs another set of tubes in his ears.
43. He is a cute little bugger.
44. Anyone know the ASIC configuration on a 48-port Brocade DCX bade?
45. I have been YM President for almost 5 years now.
46. Crazy.
47. There's no end in sight, as far as I can tell.
48. I went a solid week without tasting any food.
49. It's surprising that our taste buds only DETECT a general flavor, i.e. salt, sour, bitter, sweet, and umami, I am told.
50. Your nose has as much to do with taste as anything.
51. We are going to get rid of our Comcast TV service. Gonna watch all our TV over the interwebz.
52. And NetFlix.
53. My Droid is like carrying a PC in my pocket.
54. So space-agey.
55. I am getting older.
56. Old.
57. I did not shave today.
58. I hate shaving.
59. At least I have a nice razor to shave WITH.
60. I wear my coat for most my day at work.
61. I also wear thermals every day.
62. Probably because I have to park in NORTHERN WAZIRISTAN.
63. At least I have a job.
64. And I can smell.
65. I've been keeping a "tender mercies" journal.
66. Interesting to see how heavily blessed I am.
67. And how much the man upstairs cares about me.
68. I got a big poofy parka for Christmas.
69. WARM.
70. I sleep better when it's cold in my house.
71. Bryce is on track to be one of the fastest swimmer's in the state.
72. For his age, he's pretty $#%^ fast.
73. And Blake is right on track to follow in Bryce's footsteps.
74. I have a plantar's wart on my foot that I've frozen four times now.
75. I may have to resort to more drastic measures.
76. Anyone have a high-powered laser?
77. Your mom goes to college.
78. No, seriously, she was in my marketing class.
79. I like Your Mama jokes.
80. Eighty posts is all I had the heart for.