Yesterday, on my Facebook status, I wrote that I hated "one-uppers" and that I wanted people to call me on it if I ever do it to them. What is "One-Upping" you ask? Lemme 'splain. No, no, there is too much. Lemme sum up...with a few examples. I work with the young men in my ward and am often privy to their conversations during activities and camp outs, etc. The typical conversation starts out with someone asking a benign question like this:
"Hey, Mark, how was swimming today?"
To which they will respond, "Pretty good. Swam the 400 freestyle in 4-and-a-half minutes."
"Serious!? Dude, I swam the 400 in under 4 minutes LAST year!"
"Well, I was tired today because I didn't get much sleep last night."
"Hmm" or "You suck" is a typical response.
And the bad feelings and defensiveness begins. The entire night is then filled with them one-upping each other about this or that. And they don't even realize they are doing it. If I try to call their attention to it, they claim that is the way they talk to each other and that there are really no bad feelings, which I don't believe for a second. One time I told them that it was equal to bragging. They looked at me like I was crazy...as if I didn't know what the definition of "bragging" was.
We'll likely have a lesson in priesthood meeting about this at some point. They will be taught that the better, more Christ-like conversation will go something like this:
"Hey, Mark, how was swimming today?"
"Pretty good. Swam the 400 freestyle in 4-and-a-half minutes."
"Serious? Dude, that's great! What's you record for that event?"
"Like 4:45."
"Cool. So what's your favorite stroke in swimming?"
Etc., etc.
But I've also heard other conversations where someone is telling about something that happened to them and before the person can even finish their last sentence, someone else is chiming in, starting another story that is even more outrageous than the previous.
And so on and so forth.
A good listener is hard to find these days. I am not the best listener, but I will try to be better in the future. If I ever "one-up" you, please make me aware of it. This world needs a more sympathetic and concerned collective ear.
Me, Myself and I
- Mateo
- I am a Mormon...married to Lisa. We have 5 awesome children. I am a gun rights advocate and believe the 'right to keep and bear arms' refers to an INDIVIDUAL right, as affirmed by the U.S. Supreme Court. I like to hunt big game, although I have only ever killed a single buck deer. I am an actor of sorts and have been in many local plays and musicals.
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3 comments:
Sooo true! Nobody likes a "one-upper". It makes you never want to have a conversation with that person. When you talk to that kind of person you can see the wheels turning in their head while you are talking to them and you KNOW they are thinking of something better or more interesting to say than what you are talking about...and the worst is when they reply with something that had NOTHING to do with your conversation in the first place. Nick has one really awesome friend. He is the best listener I know and is genuinely interested in what you have to say. I try my best to be like him. We love hanging out with him and his wife! It makes you feel good when someone is truly interested in what you have to say.
Hear, hear! I had a friend once who was always better, smarter, stronger and more accomplished than anyone. The minute someone would start to say something she would finish with her own story. FUNNY THING, HOWEVER: she was ALSO sicker, more tired, and had more illnesses and diseases than anyone else. There was NOTHING she hadn't done and nothing she wasn't an expert on. It's hard to want to share any of your life with folks like that, ain't it? By the way, you have never one upped me: Danka veddy much.
Did I mention you are a one upper?It's annoying too.
Jk
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